TAMRIKA KHVTISIASHVILI

My name is Tamrika. I am 49. I live in many places because of my work and some personal choices. As I type this I am driving from Torrey, Utah where I live part time. The next few months I will be in NY city. I work as an educator. I also spend a lot of time creating. I have a phd in linguistics.

Photo courtesy: Angela Brown

When did you first notice signs of perimenopause, and what were the earliest symptoms you experienced?

The only thing I can say is maybe less frequent periods, although I am not sure about that. Everything else seems the same. I used to have hot flashes but they have gone away.

What has helped you feel strong or grounded during this journey?

It helps to have a loving husband who seems to attracted to me even as I age. Having friends of similar age is also nice. Although I wish everyone would stop with endless facial procedures, as I have no idea what any of them actually would look like and I felt a bit crazy when they look younger now than 10 years ago.

How has your identity—how you see yourself—shifted during this phase?

I don't see huge changes to be honest, but maybe i feel a bit more grounded and seem to enjoy being alone more. That said I have become less of a pleaser when it comes to the opinoins, political or social.

If you are a mother, how has this phase affected your experience of motherhood—whether you’re raising young children, teens, or adult kids?

My daughter is grown up so maybe it doesn't apply. I have started to be little more bugged by children in general, like if they are running around or screaming, etc.

What role does movement or exercise play in managing your symptoms or overall well-being?

I love working out, yoga and walking. I feel strong in my body and definitley notice how movement affects my body. I also love dancing.

Have you made any changes to your diet or nutrition that have helped you feel better?

I am fairly healhty although I notice that I have to watch more diligently what I eat to avoid weight gain.

What has been the hardest or most surprising part of this transition so far?

Feeling that it is irreversible. The feeling that it will not go away, instead it will just continue. I guess I am referring to aging. I am not comfortable or ready to view myself as asexual or less sexuall, filled with desires or desirable. All this is about perceptions, I suppose.

What would you tell your younger self to help her prepare for this phase of life?

Don't make a huge deal out of it.